Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Neural Pathways

Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Neural Pathways

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To get to this blog, you may have turned on your computer or picked up your phone, took the steps to get onto Facebook and perused people’s posts. You did most of this, if not all, without really thinking about what you were doing. That’s an example of a neural pathway. Neural pathways are these cool connections in your brain that get developed over time as you are exposed more and more to a stimulus and response. They can be for knowledge, like cat is spelled C-A-T or ‘gato’ is the Spanish word for cat. They can be for behaviors, like when you criticize me I get defensive.

It takes a lot of repetition for a neural pathway to become like a default setting: something you do without needing to consciously think about it. It’s a lot like cutting a new path in the rainforest. It takes a long time and a lot of work for a path to be well worn and easy to find. Anytime you want to change a behavior or learn something new, you will have to be very intentional about it for awhile. We get frustrated when we are trying to change because we keep doing the old unwanted behavior. Be gentle with yourself. Remember it takes time to cut a new path in the rainforest. 🙂

To learn more, check out the Journey Forward Workbook. Another option is the Journey Forward Workbook Video Series designed for those who prefer an audio/visual presentation of the information in the Workbook. It will be available very soon on my website: Journey Forward for Life. If you want to get on my email list and find out as soon as it’s available click the “Sign Up Now’ button.

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Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Community

Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Community

Some of us like to live in solitude. It’s easier. Unfortunately easier isn’t always best.  I know this all too well. I have a strong pull toward independence and isolation. I prefer to do things alone and keep to myself. Sadly, this is also a primary reason I got involved in an affair about nine years ago. There wasn’t just one reason for the choices I made, but isolation from true community was one of them. Ironically, I was around more people than I am now but they only knew the surface parts of me. The parts I was comfortable sharing. The parts that got involved in an affair were not being revealed to others…bad choices are conceived in darkness.

Today, I know it’s critical that I share the deepest darkest parts of me with people who are my cheerleaders and advisors. These are people in my Inner Circle. I know my Inner Circle people well and they know me. I can trust them with anything. Some people are in the Middle Zone. I am getting to know them and determining whether or not they are Inner Circle people. Some are in the Periphery. It’s the safest place for me to keep them because they are either too distant for me to deeply connect with or they have proven themselves untrustworthy.

How about you? Who are the people in your circles? If you don’t have any Inner Circle friends, consider taking steps to change that. Healthy community is crucial for our growth!

To learn more, check out the Journey Forward Workbook. Another option is the Journey Forward Workbook Video Series designed for those who prefer an audio/visual presentation of the information in the Workbook. It will be available very soon on my website: Journey Forward for Life. If you want to get on my email list and find out as soon as it’s available click the “Sign Up Now’ button.

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Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Self Care

Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Self Care

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Self care is a critical practice most of us long to enact but few of us have the time…at least that’s what we say. Reality is, you actually don’t have the time not to use self care. Without self care, you sabotage and run yourself into the ground. Self care is something you do that restores you physically, mentally and spiritually. Not all self care activities address all areas of need, but some do. Not to be missed are the basics like adequate rest, nourishing food, basic hygiene, shelter, clothing and exercise. Once those are met, it’s important to add in at least a few minutes a day of additional self care. Think through activities that you enjoy, that relax you, that fill you up. Write them down and keep a running list. That way, when you’re not sure what to do you can look at what you have already discovered.

To learn more, check out the Journey Forward Workbook. Another option is the Journey Forward Workbook Video Series designed for those who prefer an audio/visual presentation of the information in the Workbook. It will be available very soon. If you want to get on my email list and find out as soon as it’s available click the “Sign Up Now’ button.

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Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Codependency & Boundaries

Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Codependency & Boundaries

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Codependency and boundaries go together like exhaustion and sleep. Essentially, boundaries are the antidote to codependency. Codependency has many nuances but in a nutshell it is thinking for others. If you are codependent it could be that you think you know what others want from you and function in a way to get their approval. It may be that you rescue, save or solve for others, believing it’s out of the kindness of your heart, but deep down it’s your way of gaining a sense of purpose or validation. Most people, if not all, have some codependent traits.

When it comes to boundaries, the most obvious is your skin. You are responsible for everything from the outermost layer of your skin, in. Our skin literally separates us from others. You are not responsible for others, unless they are incapable of caring for themselves, for instance, your three year old child but not your 30 year old! Boundaries also clarify what you like and don’t like. You develop a clear sense of who you are. This clear understanding is not based on what others want from you (or what you think they might want from you) but on what you want or think or agree with or…

Use your Awareness skills to notice when you are being codependent and begin to define where you begin and end.

To learn more, check out the Journey Forward Workbook. Another option is the Journey Forward Workbook Video Series designed for those who prefer an audio/visual presentation of the information in the Workbook. It will be available very soon on my website: Journey Forward for Life. If you want to get on my email list and find out as soon as it’s available click the “Sign Up Now’ button.

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Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Processing Thoughts & Emotions

Tips From The Journey Forward Workbook: Processing Thoughts & Emotions

When we are willing to take the time to process through our emotions and thoughts, we give ourselves a gift. It’s the gift of time before reacting. So often we react instantaneously without slowing down and thinking through what’s going on within ourselves. The very first step in processing thoughts and emotions is from Tip #1: Awareness. You have to know what you are feeling and thinking in order to process them.

The process is fairly basic. Identify your thoughts and emotions. Understand how they are connected. Put your thoughts through the fact-checker filter. If it’s not based on fact and is a created story, it’s generally best to let go of the thought. If the thought is based in truth and reality, allow yourself to feel the accompanying emotion for a time. Find out where you have some responsibility or power regarding the situation and take appropriate action (keep it healthy, legal and wise!). If there’s not much you can do, enact self care (again, keep it healthy, legal and wise!).

To learn more, check out the Journey Forward Workbook. Another option is the Journey Forward Workbook Video Series designed for those who prefer an audio/visual presentation of the information in the Workbook. It will be available very soon on my website: Journey Forward for Life. If you want to get on my email list and find out as soon as it’s available click the “Sign Up Now’ button.

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